If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
