I swear she didn't look like that last week.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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