I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
