Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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