the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
