I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
