don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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