I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
