So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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