You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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