Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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