chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
