you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
