just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
