I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
of course. lets lasso hookers.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
