If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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