Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
