I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize