we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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