Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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