I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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