Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
