problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
