both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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