I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize