After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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