If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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