rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
