butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
