Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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