In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize