p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Ketchup is God's man juice
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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