ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Randomize
