I just pynch a tree in the face
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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