Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
