so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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