I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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