he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
