Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
