Soap is not a condiment
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
