So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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