The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
