Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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