You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
foreskin is a definite game changer
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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