it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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