I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
