did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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