Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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