And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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