I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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