Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
