He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
