just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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