Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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