i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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