I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I enjoy the company of your penis
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
