why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I just found a bag of teeth...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
