my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize