sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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