Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
