I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
