Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
