I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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