sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
