there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
