I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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