I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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