I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
