I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
