actually, I'm a sock model
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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