she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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